Are You Prepared?

We are constantly warned about the various dangers in our everyday lives, but one threat has been distressingly ignored. This ever increasing menace that I'm talking about is the Velociraptor. It is Velociraptor season as I type this. Thankfully the concerned citizens at the American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention are working for our safety. Here is some critical information about these ruthless killers.

Velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands, converted to millionaire amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest. Of the essential facts you should know about velociraptors:

-Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around its prey.
-Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s2, with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor laboratories.
-Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
-Velociraptors do not know fear.

Stay safe readers. The Velociraptors may get us before the robots, if we aren't prepared.


For information on how to keep your home safe visit:
American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention